The Flu or a Day Off?

Being sick is a funny thing. We often wonder, where did this come from? One truth that we don’t want to admit is that there is a good chance it came from us. We needed a break.   We needed some down time. We needed some extra sleep.  But it’s not permissible to say these things.  We have to be productive all the time. We have to be superhuman.  When we’ve reached a point where we REALLY need a break and have to take one, we catch a bad cold, or the flu, or a 24 hour bug or heaven forbid, something much worse. You don’t feel comfortable telling the boss that you need an extra 5 hours of sleep because you are exhausted.  But it’s easy to tell the boss that you have been up all night with your head in the toilet.  Everyone can understand that – the boss, the significant other, the kids.  They all understand you don’t feel well and they had best leave you alone because you need the rest and because they don’t want to catch whatever you have.

It’s an easy way to get a break, but it’s not easy on you. And worse, it’s not the break you really need.  If you had just taken a day off to stay in bed and rest and maybe read a good book or watch a movie, it wouldn’t have involved sniffling, sneezing, struggling to breathe, throwing up, or any other unpleasant things that come with being sick.  But if you take that day off everyone is going to say you are lazy. Your kids will want your attention and want to stay home from nursery school because you’re home. Your significant other will think of things for you to do while you’re lounging around at home. But the truth is, you need a day every now and then when you do absolutely nothing. And you need to be able to say so.  This is true of even the most extreme type A personalities.

At least once every 6 months, schedule a day for yourself, and one for each of the members of your family. Take the day off completely. Other family members can be responsible for taking care of themselves and the kids on that day. The kids need a day too. One day of no school, no homework, no video games, no energy sucking idevices attached to their bodies. A day to lie around and dream and be a kid.  A day where they are your primary focus all day and you do what they want to do.

Give it a try for a year – it’s only a couple of days out of your life. If you do this instead of having the flu for 2 weeks, wouldn’t you and everyone around you be happier? So the next time you feel like you are getting sick, just give yourself a break!

Tenang walau dikritik

Susunan Mahani Ishak | mahani@bh.com.my

 

 

 

Terima dengan hati terbuka dan bina positif

Secara jujurnya, tiada seorang pun mahu dikritik. Seseorang akan menganggap diri tidak bagus dan mungkin berasa malu jika kritikan dilemparkan kepadanya, malah cuba membetulkan kesalahannya.
Apa yang pasti, kritikan adalah lumrah perlakuan manusia apabila tidak bersetuju dengan cadangan dan tindakan seseorang. Kebiasaannya, apa yang dinamakan kritikan ini ialah kata-kata dan ungkapan yang akan menghalang sesuatu tindakan yang sudah atau sedang diambil. 

Bagi yang tidak tabah dan tidak tahan dengan kritikan dan hujah yang diterima, pasti akan menyerah kalah dan berundur.

Bagaimanakah pula reaksi anda jika dikritik? Marah, mahu menangis, menjawab atau cuba lari daripada realiti. Ada yang berpendapat, walaupun tidak semudah seperti disangkakan, anda perlu menerimanya dengan hati terbuka demi peningkatan atau kemajuan diri yang lebih baik.

Tiada manusia sempurna

Realitinya, ada sesetengah perkara yang dilakukan, orang lain boleh menegur, memberi nasihat atau kata-kata semangat kepada anda. Asasnya, tiada manusia yang sempurna atau dalam kata lain, semua perkara yang dilakukan ada kala betul dan bertepatan tetapi bukanlah mustahil kesilapan boleh berlaku.
Justeru, jika anda dikritik, ia perlu lihat dari sudut positif dan negatif. Jangan bersedih hati, sebaliknya bersabar dan belajar menerima kritikan itu. Terima kritikan dengan minda terbuka dan hati yang positif. Ambil masa untuk muhasabah diri dan perbaiki kelemahan diri.

Di sini, beberapa panduan mudah untuk sentiasa positif, khususnya dalam membina kerjaya anda.

Mendengar dengan sepenuh tumpuan

Mendengar dengan penuh perhatian akan menjadikan kritikan sebagai galakan untuk meningkatkan produktiviti, sekali gus mengetepikan andaian negatif bahawa kritikan itu sengaja menjatuhkan reputasinya.

Jangan cuba mempertahankan diri

Tindakan itu hanya menyukarkan anda menjadi lebih baik terutama apabila individu yang memberikan kritikan adalah majikan sendiri. Keadaan itu akan menjejaskan hubungan di tempat kerja, sekali gus menyukarkan anda meningkatkan pencapaian kerja hingga menjejaskan kenaikan pangkat berikutan majikan mengandaikan kakitangan itu sukar mengakui kelemahan dan tidak berusaha mengatasinya.

Ambil masa sebelum bertindak

Sebaiknya, cuba menarik nafas panjang dan membuat kiraan sepuluh bagi menenangkan diri. Jika perlu, cuba untuk tidur. Ini bagi membolehkan kita membuat pertimbangan sewajarnya dan tidak mengambil tindakan terburu-buru, sekali gus mengelak timbul kekesalan di kemudian hari. Paling penting, kerja adalah kerja, sesuatu kritikan itu bertujuan membina.

Berhenti menuding jari kepada pihak lain

Mengakui kesilapan diri, namun tetap menyalahkan pihak lain bukan tindakan baik. Sepatutnya, anda perlu bersikap bertanggungjawab dan memohon maaf supaya kesalahan tidak berulang. Tiada siapa sempurna dan semua orang melakukan kesalahan.

Jangan takut dikritik

Kritikan tidak menjejaskan seseorang. Justeru, jangan takut dikritik supaya anda tidak dihantui perasaan negatif hingga menjejaskan keupayaan diri. Dengan memberikan perhatian kepada kritikan orang yang kita hormati, kita akan memperoleh input positif. Perspektif lain, sekiranya tiada sebarang kepentingan, anggap ia sebagai kritikan yang tidak menjejaskan kerana mereka itu cemburu pencapaian anda.

Sebenarnya bukan mudah untuk mengukir senyuman dan menerima secara terbuka setiap kritikan, namun ia adalah kemahiran yang boleh dikuasai. Pastikan ia menjadi strategi yang mampu meningkatkan keupayaan diri bagi membangunkan potensi diri. Justeru, terima segala kritikan dengan tenang dan anda merasai kelainannya.

Powerful Written Goals In 7 Easy Steps!

By Gene Donohue

The car is packed and you’re ready to go, your first ever cross-country trip. From the White Mountains of New Hampshire to the rolling hills of San Francisco, you’re going to see it all.

You put the car in gear and off you go. First stop, the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, New York.

A little while into the trip you need to check the map because you’ve reached an intersection you’re not familiar with. You panic for a moment because you realize you’ve forgotten your map.

But you say the heck with it because you know where you’re going. You take a right, change the radio station and keep on going. Unfortunately, you never reach your destination.

We need to do more then simply scribble down some ideas on a piece of paper. Our goals need to be complete and focused, much like a road map, and that is the purpose behind the rest of this article.

If you follow the 7 steps outlined below you will be well on your way to becoming an expert in building the road maps to your goals.

1. Make sure the goal you are working for is something you really want, not just something that sounds good.

I remember when I started taking baseball umpiring more seriously. I began to set my sights on the NCAA Division 1 level. Why? I knew there was no way I could get onto the road to the major leagues, so the next best thing was the highest college level. Pretty cool, right. Wrong.

Sure, when I was talking to people about my umpiring goals it sounded pretty good, and many people were quite impressed. Fortunately I began to see through my own charade.

I have been involved in youth sports for a long time. I’ve coached, I’ve been the President of leagues, I’ve been a treasurer and I’m currently a District Commissioner for Cal Ripken Baseball. Youth sports is where I belong, it is where my heart belongs, not on some college diamond where the only thing at stake is a high draft spot.

When setting goals it is very important to remember that your goals must be consistent with your values.

2. A goal can not contradict any of your other goals.

For example, you can’t buy a $750,000 house if your income goal is only $50,000 per year. This is called non-integrated thinking and will sabotage all of the hard work you put into your goals. Non-integrated thinking can also hamper your everyday thoughts as well. We should continually strive to eliminate contradictory ideas from our thinking.

3. Develop goals in the 6 areas of life:

Family and Home

Financial and Career

Spiritual and Ethical

Physical and Health

Social and Cultural

Mental and Educational

Setting goals in each area of life will ensure a more balanced life as you begin to examine and change the fundamentals of everyday living. Setting goals in each area of life also helps in eliminating the non-integrated thinking we talked about in the 2nd step.

4. Write your goal in the positive instead of the negative.

Work for what you want, not for what you want to leave behind. Part of the reason why we write down and examine our goals is to create a set of instructions for our subconscious mind to carry out. Your subconscious mind is a very efficient tool, it can not determine right from wrong and it does not judge. It’s only function is to carry out its instructions. The more positive instructions you give it, the more positive results you will get.

Thinking positively in everyday life will also help in your growth as a human being. Don’t limit it to goal setting.

5. Write your goal out in complete detail.

Instead of writing “A new home,” write “A 4,000 square foot contemporary with 4 bedrooms and 3 baths and a view of the mountain on 20 acres of land."

Once again we are giving the subconscious mind a detailed set of instructions to work on. The more information you give it, the more clearer the final outcome becomes. The more precise the outcome, the more efficient the subconscious mind can become.

Can you close your eyes and visualize the home I described above? Walk around the house. Stand on the porch off the master bedroom and see the fog lifting off the mountain. Look down at the garden full of tomatoes, green beans and cucumbers. And off to the right is the other garden full of mums, carnations and roses. Can you see it? So can your subconscious mind.

6. By all means, make sure your goal is high enough.

Shoot for the moon, if you miss you’ll still be in the stars. Earlier I talked about my umpiring goals and how making it to the top level of college umpiring did not mix with my values. Some of you might be saying that I’m not setting my goals high enough. Not so. I still have very high goals for my umpiring career at the youth level. My ultimate goal is to be chosen to umpire a Babe Ruth World Series and to do so as a crew chief. If I never make it, everything I do to reach that goal will make me a better umpire and a better person. If I make it, but don’t go as a crew chief, then I am still among the top youth umpires in the nation. Shoot for the moon!

7. This is the most important, write down your goals.

Writing down your goals creates the road map to your success. Although just the act of writing them down can set the process in motion, it is also extremely important to review your goals frequently. Remember, the more focused you are on your goals the more likely you are to accomplish them.

Sometimes we realize we have to revise a goal as circumstances and other goals change, much like I did with my umpiring. If you need to change a goal do not consider it a failure, consider it a victory as you had the insight to realize something was different.

So your goals are written down.

Now what?

First of all, unless someone is critical to helping you achieve your goal(s), do not freely share your goals with others. The negative attitude from friends, family and neighbors can drag you down quickly. It’s very important that your self-talk (the thoughts in your head) are positive.

Reviewing your goals daily is a crucial part of your success and must become part of your routine. Each morning when you wake up read your list of goals that are written in the positive. Visualize the completed goal, see the new home, smell the leather seats in your new car, feel the cold hard cash in your hands. Then each night, right before you go to bed, repeat the process. This process will start both your subconscious and conscious mind on working towards the goal. This will also begin to replace any of the negative self-talk you may have and replace it with positive self-talk.

Every time you make a decision during the day, ask yourself this question, “Does it take me closer to, or further from my goal.” If the answer is “closer to,” then you’ve made the right decision. If the answer is “further from,” well, you know what to do.

If you follow this process everyday you will be on your way to achieving unlimited success in every aspect of your life.

Performance - Turbo-Charge Your Life With Powerful Self-Talk

Self-talk is the inner chatter that accompanies us in most of our waking moments... Your self-talk can be a powerful aid to your performance, or it can be destructive...

What do you say when you talk to yourself? If you're like many of us, your self-talk is a caustic mixture of judgments, complaints, and verbal abuse, in the form of "tapes" - mental recordings - that you've imprinted on your mind and play over and over again... No wonder you feel down and depressed...

However, you can change the tapes you play, and your self-talk, as soon as you become aware of what you're saying to yourself... Changing your self-talk will turbo-charge your life and enhance your performance in everything you do...

You can change your self-talk right now!!!

Let's try a little test... Say to yourself, silently or aloud: "That was a stupid thing to say... How could I say _________ (pick any verbal blunder you can remember)... I'm so stupid..."

How do you feel? Perhaps you feel sad, or anxious... Take a moment to track your emotions in your body... Perhaps you have a sinking feeling in your tummy, or your face is becoming hot... Your self-talk immediately affected your body, your mental state and your emotions...

Now let's try some positive self-talk... Take a couple of deep breaths, smile, and say to yourself, aloud or silently: "I'm happy, strong and confident."

How do you feel now? Feel your emotions in your body... Repeat the words "I'm happy, strong and confident" several times – keep smiling as you do so... You felt an emotional lift, didn't you? You can give yourself an emotional boost at any time, just by changing your self-talk... If you make it a habit to repeat motivating self-talk to yourself, not only will you feel better, but you'll perform better in everything you do...

Self-talk is powerful, and it's free. It's the best thing you can do for yourself...

Erase old self-talk tapes: make new tapes

Affirmations are a form of self-talk, and you can create your own affirmations to use as self-talk... However, the best way to change your old self-talk tapes, is to make a new tape every time you catch yourself replaying an old tape...

For example, if you hear yourself saying: "I'll never get this project done... No one's helping me with it, I'm always left to do the hard work and others get the credit…"

Change your self-talk immediately... Write down your new self-talk tape which will over time erase the old self-talk tape: "This project's interesting... I'm going to have fun working with it... I'll ask ___ and ___ for their input right away... I'm taking charge of this project, it will be done in no time, and I'll claim the credit because I deserve it..."

Now repeat your new self-talk to yourself as often as you need to, particularly as soon as you can hear any faint whispers of the old self talk... Boost the new tape with affirmations, like: "I'm confident, capable and strong. I CAN do this!"

START TODAY: Use powerful self-talk to enhance your performance in everything you do...!!!

Develop Self-Confidence: 7 Lies You Need to Stop Telling Yourself!!!

By Farnoosh Brock

 

 

 Photo by Sadie Hernandez

“Be honest with yourself, and you will find the motivation to do what you advise others to do.” ~Vince Poscente

What if you could only tell—and more importantly, only believe—the truth? Not the half-truth, the white lies, or the other grey in between, but the pure, beautiful, and unadulterated truth. If I had to pick one super power, it would be to know the liars from the truth-tellers. I would walk around in public places, eavesdrop on conversations, and know immediately if someone is lying or being honest. 

I would go to social events and exercise my super power by posing my burning questions to friends and strangers alike. I would sit in the courtrooms of the world, and know instantly if the victim is lying or telling the truth. How fascinating, how disconcerting, how shocking it would all be!

Most of all, though, I would use my super power to listen to the voices that I hear in my own head, from the loud inner critic, the large ego full of opinions, and the years of social conditioning and upbringing; and I would be able to tell, without a shadow of a doubt, the lies from the truths. Oh yes!

I grew up in Tehran, and witnessed not only the horrible 1979 Iranian revolution but also the terrible war that ensued between Iran and Iraq. Even though I was very small, I remember the horror, the bombings, the sirens, and the oppression.

Mostly, I remember the way our teachers would brainwash our small little minds and fill it with the new regime’s lies. I remember that our families needed to play it safe while still helping us draw some faint distinction between those lies and the truth.

I moved to America when I was 15 years old, and today, even though I know the difference between a lie and the beautiful truth, some days the inner critic returns and insists on the lie. But I don’t think I am alone. We tell ourselves lies, half-truths, and anything but the pure truth every day.

We are paying for them, you know? They create new doubts in our mind and new fears out of thin air.

They make us a little blind to our own amazing opportunities. Most of all, they bruise our self-esteem, crush our self-confidence, and leave us looking for it everywhere except the very place that we will find it: within ourselves.

Your confidence lives inside you. It does not deplete itself or run away and desert you. It is a permanent part of who you are. But with enough lies, you can silence even the greatest force of confidence.

The solution: Stop lying to yourself and stop believing the lies that you hear.

The simplest and most powerful thing you can do to make that happen is believe in yourself.

Here are 7 lies you need to stop telling yourself:

Lie #1: You are not worthy of love.

Everyone in this world is worthy of love, and that includes you. The great thing about love is its abundance—it does not run out—and you can start with the first rule of confidence, which is to love thyself.

Self-love is totally in your control. It is a choice that you can make every day, as well as a shift in how you view love. If you can love yourself deeply and truly, you will generate plenty of love for the world around you, and you will start to see yourself as entirely worthy of love in return.

Lie #2: You are not enough.

Says who (other than you)? Maybe there were people who told you this lie at some point in your life. Maybe you started fabricating it on your own. Either way: it’s not true.

There is a difference between improving the person you are to be the best that you can be—a lifetime journey that we all share—and not being enough as a human being.

You are more than enough! You are good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, and then some. It starts with believing it before you can live it.

Lie #3: You do not deserve happiness.

This is the silliest lie of all. What have you done not to deserve this happiness that is your birthright? Who has dared implant such a falsehood in your head?

Yes, you deserve happiness in abundance, and the funny thing is you cannot have happiness while you hold on to the lie. Happiness flows to you when you fully expect it, not when you resist it. Stop resisting it. Start inviting it.

Lie #4: You are not unique or special.

This one still shocks me. Every human being—all seven billion of us—is born with unique fingerprints and unique voices. Does this gift form Mother Nature alone not shock you? It is the best perspective to instantly remember that you are oh so unique. There is not another one like you. There never will be. Know this. Exploit it. Enjoy it. Remember it.

Lie #5: Your dreams are too unrealistic or impractical.

It takes reading one inspirational biography or life story to switch you out of this mindset, so pick your favorite hero and go.

People achieve the impossible. They do it every day and in every age, every demographic, and every social condition. They rise up to the occasion and defy the norms. Nobody has to give them permission so they can live out their dreams and make waves in their own life and many around them. Why are you waiting for permission then?

Decide if your dream is practical or not, achievable or not. Then go make it happen.

Lie #6: Your circumstances dictate your success.

So many of us go through life carrying the shadows of our past and tainting our future. If we had great failure in the past, we let it define our identity and severely limit our potential for any future success.

Then we hear success stories of those who did not let any disadvantage dictate their success, those who blatantly ignored their shadows, shunned their current circumstances and defined their new future with brilliant colors!

How did they do it, we wonder? Can we too let go of these dark shadows? Can we walk into a new light, no matter what our past may have been and what our current circumstances suggest? I believe we can.

Lie #7: You are not worthy of wealth.

Wealth is personal. Some define it in the strength of their finances and some with the depth of their inner peace, and for some, one leads to the other.

How you define wealth is your business, just know that how you feel about it will affect your confidence. If you do not feel worthy of achieving your own state of wealth, ask yourself why? What self-limiting beliefs are you telling yourself that creates this condition? What better story can you believe so that you attract the wealth that you seek?

Telling yourself the truth can be the best habit you can develop, and asking questions and talking things through with yourself can be the easiest and quickest way to establish this habit.

You can kick start this habit by eradicating these seven lies first. Your reward is a renewed, strong and solid sense of confidence in yourself and your amazing abilities!

Start Now!!!

Once upon a time... Not too many years ago...
There was a young woman... Who dreamed great dreams...
Who imagined a wonderful life... But instead of taking action...
She choose to say someday... She promised herself that...

Someday... She was going to write a book... She was going to get in great shape... She was going to travel the world... She was going to make her mark... She was going to live an extraordinary life...

Then one day, with regret and a saddened heart... That young woman, now much older, realized... That those things won't happen, not now - not ever!

Unless she stopped making excuses... Unless she stopped being afraid... Unless she started taking action...

It was at that moment that... She embraced the idea that...

Someday has arrived...

That it's not too late... To turn her dreams into reality... Just a little bit later than it was...

2014 has finally arrived, and if you have have been using the "SOMEDAY" philosophy for running your life, START to turn your dreams into reality...!!!

- Edited from Gillian Hood

Positive Attitude

It's not always easy to have a positive attitude.... For example, losing your wallet, or car won't start, or your child came with bad grade, all are outside influences... Getting upset for a few moments is OK... however allowing outside influences to ruin your entire day is both sad and unproductive....

While sometimes it can be a challenge (and with some very bad situations, it may take some time), putting a positive spin on everyday things that go wrong will help you feel better AND will help you get on with your day....

The car won't start...again? Maybe it's time to trade it in for a new one, or maybe you'll chalk it up to helping the economy by getting your local mechanic to fix the problem....

Your child came home with a bad grade on her english test? See it as an opportunity to contribute to your child's education and self-esteem by working together with your child to help her improve her next grade...

A positive attitude will make all the difference in your day... Change your language, Change your choice of word, Change your thinking even feeling to it... Hey, it can even help you get organized!!!

Edited from Maria Gracia

Kenali Jenis Najis Anda!

Perbualan berkenaan tahi ini mungkin dianggap perkara yang tak senonoh, busuk, dan menjijikkan. Tetapi dalam waktu yang sama, kita semua menjalani rutin membuang air besar hampir setiap hari. Malah ada yang buang air besar hampir 2-3kali sehari. Itulah hakikatnya, semua orang malu membicarakan soal tahi. Tapi tahukah anda, tahi itu mencerminkan sebagus mana diet yang anda semua praktikkan?

Berdasarkan “Bristol Stool Chart”, “Meyers Scale” atau dalam bahasa melayunya “Skala Tahi Bristol”. Tahi boleh dikelaskan kepada 7 jenis. Skala ini telah dinamakan “Skala Tahi Bristol” kerana skala ini telah diperkenalkan oleh Lewis S.J. dan Heaton K.W di University of Bristol, UK.

Berikut adalah kelas-kelas tahi yang dimaksudkan:

Jenis 1: Berbentuk biji-biji, agak keras seperti ketulan batu.
Jenis 2: Berbentuk seperti sosej, tetapi berketak-ketak.
Jenis 3: Juga berbentuk seperti sosej, tetapi macam merekah sedikit.
Jenis 4: Berbentuk seperti ular, agak licin, halus dan lembut. Just Nice.
Jenis 5: Bergumpal-gumpal, lembut dengan potongan hujungnya jelas.
Jenis 6: Yang ni dia macam cirit sikit, likat, gabungan cecair dan pepejal.
Jenis 7: Sangat cair, tiada pepejal.

Tahi jenis 1 dan 2
Sekiranya anda mempunyai tahi seperti ini, itu maksudnya anda sedang mengalami sembelit. Kalau dapat tahi sebegini, memang susah sedikit nak ‘meneran’ sebab tahi itu dah menjedi keras. Selalunya situasi ni terjadi kalau seseorang tu malas untuk berak setiap hari. Semakin lama tahi berada dalam usus besar, semakin banyak air daripadanya yang akan diserap, maka semakin keraslah ia. Jadi, lepas ni jangan malas untuk buang air besar lagi ye.

Tahi jenis 3 dan 4
Seperti juga berat badan, tahi juga ada kategori yang ideal  iaitu normal, dan kategori ideal untuk tahi ini jatuh pada jenis yang ke-3 dan ke-4. Selalunya tahi sebegini dihasilkan kalau seseorang itu rajin ke tandas setiap hari.

Tahi jenis 5, 6 dan 7
Bagaimana pula dengan jenis 5 hingga 7? Kalau pernah mengalami yang ke-5, itu mungkin disebabkan angin atau gas yang terlalu banyak dalam usus, atau anda telah mengambil sesuatu yang boleh menyebabkan anda cirit birit seperti susu berlaktosa. Namun untuk kategori 6 hingga 7, anda kena berhati-hati sedikit kerana itu mungkin membawa maksud ‘diarrhea‘ iaitu masuk ke tandas dan cirit lebih daripada 3 kali sehari. Ingat, diarrhea yang berterusan boleh membawa maut!

Diet juga sangat mempengaruhi rupa tahi yang dihasilkan. Jangan sesekali mengabaikan sayur dan buah-buahan. Itu merupakan sumber serat nombor satu yang harus diambil secara berterusan selagi kita masih bernafas. Dan jangan malas untuk buang air besar!