HEARTS: Calling all Employers & Training Providers

DISC Accreditation: Become a DISC Certified Human Behaviour Consultant

A 2-Day High Impact that Accredited you as a 

‘Certified Human Behaviour Consultant’

DISC Accreditation

Become a DISC Certified Human Behaviour Consultant!

WORKSHOP DETAILS

DATE        : Thurs, 29^th to Fri, 30^th May 2014

VENUE     : Secita Building, 4A, Jalan SS5D/6, Kelana Jaya, 47301 Petaling Jaya, Selangor

TIME        : 9:00 am to 5:00 pm

INVESTMENT DETAILS

Normal Price: RM3,400

* Fee includes programme materials, lunch and refreshments for both days.

Last day of Registration is 15^th May 2014.

Call Wady to book a seat or fill in the form and email to:

Tel : + 6013 364 2037

Email : iswardy@globalknox.com

Application Form (Click to Download): DISC ACCREDITATION 

Facilitated by:

DANIEL TEO|Singapore

Received his MSc. in Organizational Psychology from The University of London and Master from Regent College, an affiliated member with The University of British Columbia, Vancouver Canada. He has been appointed the Asian Director and Principal Trainer by “The Leadership Institute of America” and “Consulting Tools” UK. Both organizations have provided consulting and assessment advice to America’s and UK's top companies including Walt Disney World, Motorola, AT&T, Acura, American Express, Toyota, etc. As the Principal Trainer to Asia, he has trained and accredited close to 600 Organizational Leaders, Heads of Departments, Human Resource Personnel, Trainers and Counselors in using and administering the ‘The Leadership Institute of America’ DISC Personality Profile System.

BRENDA KUA|Malaysia

The founder of Noesis Consulting Sdn Bhd brings with her many years’ worth of experience in the field of human resources and consulting.  She has worked for top companies like Canon, BASF and British American Tobacco.  She holds an MBA in General Management (Australia). She is a certified Coach in Certificate IV of Workplace and Business Coaching, the 1^st Australian Govt. Accredited coaching programme. Brenda is accredited in DISC & Facet5 (Big 5 Personality Model) and trained to conduct assessment centres to recruit talent for multinationals.  As a Certified Human Behavioural Consultant, she has conducted numerous DISC workshops for many companies.

AN EVENT ORGANIZED BY GLOBALKNOX SDN BHD & NOESIS CONSULTING SDN BHD

DISC provides an insight into an individual style that is more than adequate to predict the likely trends of people’s behaviour. It does this by evaluating four key dimensions in an individual. At its most basic level, DISC measures four factors of an individual’s behaviour. Dominance, Influence, Steadiness and Compliance.

The real power of DISC comes from its ability to interpret the relations between these dimensions. How a high ‘Influence’ person who has an equal high level of ‘Dominance’, will behave differently to an ‘Influence’ individual without that ‘Dominance’. Using this information, DISC can be used to describe a person’s general approach, including their motivations and dislikes, strengths and potential risks, and some of the basic assumptions they make about other people.

The instrument is internationally used in the areas of Human Resource management, consulting, coaching, mentoring and counselling. On completion, participants will be accredited as a ‘Certified Human Behaviour Consultant’.

PROGRAM OBJECTIVES & LEARNING OUTCOMES

• Increased understanding of self and others

• Progress from a manager of people to a leader of people

• Increased influence and reduced staff turnover

• Increased work productivity and communication

• Build effective teams

• Resolve and minimize conflicts

• Gain commitment and cooperation

• Dealing with changes positively

The only thing worse than training good employees and losing them, is not training your employees and keeping them.

~ Zig Ziglar

WHO IS ATTENDING THIS TRAINING?
Directors, Senior Management, Functional Heads, Sales & Marketing Managers, HR Practitioners, Recruitment Managers, Organizational Development Practitioners,Team Leaders & Supervisors, Management Consultants, Coaches, Trainers, Counsellors, Social Workers and others who want to achieve personal development

APPLICATION
Leadership Development, Recruitment & Selection, Selling & Prospecting, Coaching, Mentoring, Counselling, Career Development & Management, Conflict Resolution, Team Building, Leading, Managing & Motivation, Communication & Dialogue, Parenting.

To effectively communicate, we must realize

that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.

~ Anthony Robbins, World’s #1 Success Coach

Human Relation Principles

Nine ways to make people Like You!

1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest, sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
4. Become genuinely interested in other people.
5. Smile.
6. Remember that a man’s name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
7. Be a good listener, encourage others to talk about themselves.
8. Talk in terms of the other mans interest.
9. Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.

 
Twelve ways to make people think in your way
 
1. Show respect for the others persons opinions. Never tell a man he is wrong.
2. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
3. If you are wrong admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Gets the other person saying Yes, yes immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.

 
Nine ways to bring around people without giving offence
 
1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to peoples mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
6. Let the other man save his face.
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.


Four ways to Analys worry

1. Get all the facts.
2. Weigh all the fats-then come to a decision.
3. Once a decision is rached, act.
4. Write the answers of the following questions.
     a) What is the problem?
     b) What are the causes of the problem?
     c) What are the possible solutions?



Four ways to Overcome worry
 
1. Live in day-tight compartments.
2. Face the trouble the following ways.
      a) Ask yourself what is the worst that can possibly happen?
      b) Prepare mentally to accept the worst.
      c) Try to improve on the worst.
3. Remind yourself of the exorbitant price you can pay for worry in terms of your health.
4. Apply the law of averages in your favor.


Six ways to break the worry habit

1. Keep busy.
2. Don’t fuss about trifles.
3. Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries.
4. Co-operate with the inevitable.
5. Decide just how much anxiety a thing
6. Don’t worry about the past.


Seven  ways to Peace and Happiness
 
1. Fill your mind with thoughts of peace, courage, health, hope and prayer.
2. Never try to get even with your enemies.
3. Expect ingratitude.
4. Count your blessings-not your troubles.
5. Do not imitate others.
6. Try to profit from your losses.
7. Create happiness for others.

 
Seven ways to face criticism and grow strong

1. Remember that unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment.
2. Do the very best you can.
3. Analyse your own mistakes and criticize yourself.
4. Learn to relax at your work.
5. Apply the following four good working habits.
     a) Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand.
     b) Do things in order of their importance.
     c) When you have a problem, solve it then and there if you have the necessary facts to make a decision.
     d) Learn to organize, deputize and supervise.
6. Put enthusiasm into your work.
7. Don’t worry about insomnia.

Five Steps to Analyzing Training Needs and Solutions

Don’t believe me? It’s basic critical thinking. I look around the internet and people are always asking how do you do this or that, what are the steps? Sometimes I smile and say, “If I tell all my secrets…” Actually I have Mary Ellen Guffey to thank for her article, Five Steps to Better Critical-Thinking, Problem-Solving, and Decision-Making Skills from 1998. I’m just going to borrow her title points and we can try to fill in the blanks with training points.

1.      Identify and clarify the problem.
2.      Gather information.
3.      Evaluate the evidence.
4.      Consider alternatives and implications.
5.      Choose and implement the best alternative.

At the university where I teach, we start the students off with critical thinking; the logic is to get the students not to just absorb material but to think about it and use it–not unlike training reasoning. I routinely refer to this as creative thinking because even though it appears dry on the surface, digging deeper, brainstorming, exploring, and playing what if are essentially creative tools.

Let’s put this in training terms now.

1. First, we want to know if the problem is real or perceived and the age-old training question: we want to identify that the problem a company has is indeed due to a lack of training. As you know some problems are not training problems at all, but organizational. I, for one, don’t like to do business with anyone who would take a job from me and do work that didn’t need to be done in the first place. So, we find out the extent of the problem and research the company to “clarify” the nature of that problem.
2.  Next, we will gather information to evaluate the nature of the evidence (the causes, pinpointing the need that we have determined that needs to be addressed to help us determine what kind of training could be beneficial to resolve the issues
3. Evaluating the evidence for us means looking at all the factors that affect training an organization: size, level, method and balance that against possible solutions to the problems at hand. Not only that, but here we are looking for spoilers: misinformation, office politics, rigged statistics, etc. We need to ferret out the truth.
4. All the while we are looking at alternatives to training and different kinds of training, and even if we are the right trainers for the job, as well as the implications our training may have in the short and long term. We must take into account cost factors as well as methods. We are scrutinizing ourselves just as must as we have scrutinized the problem.
5. Decision time. It would seem now we have enough material to deal with, and that’s just from the company-level; there is also the hands-on training to consider that comes next, and to consider ways to monitor it in the future to see the training lasts or needs refreshers.

So, there you have it. Five steps to analyze needs and solutions. It’s not as hard as it sounds. These are things you may be doing without thinking. Now you know what to call them: critical thinking about… or if you want to be different creative thinking about…, which is my choice. If you aren’t doing this already, maybe you should. It’s basic creative thinking. By the way, Mary Ellen Guffey is a business communicator with several books. I’ve heard there are striking similarities between good trainers and good communicators. Here’s another link you may find helpful in your search for connections: Using Design Method for Problem Solving.

By the way, if you are looking for a good, how-to on doing a basic needs assessment, here’s a good place (besides our Training Library) to start: http://www.dirjournal.com/guides/how-to-conduct-a-training-needs-analysis/

For more resources about training, see the Training library.

source: http://managementhelp.org

5 Questions You Must Ask to Set Your Customer Strategy

Your customers are the most important part of your business – without customers, your company wouldn’t exist – and your customer strategy is best built by talking to those same customers. By asking them (and yourself) the questions that matter, you’ll be able to make the best decisions for your business and for your customers.

 

Serve Customers by Asking Questions

Gary Hoover says it well in an interview conducted in 2011: customer strategy starts with serving customers.

Only people can focus on customers.  And all businesses are customer-centric whether they think so or not.  It’s just that some are focused on screwing their customers while others focus on making customers’ lives full of delight, and everything in between.  Those who don’t cherish and respect and innovatively serve their customers will not be long for this world. –Gary Hoover

Strategy, like other processes, gets better as you iteratively improve it, so you should strongly consider using a rubric – like the 5 Whys Method pioneered by Toyota – to force yourself to answer the questions that need to be asked. These questions, like the 5 whys, build on each other in a manner of philosophic first principles. You can ask any one out of order, and they are more powerful when used as a holistic process to guide your strategy.

 

Question 1: Who is your customer?

The first question you need to ask to set your customer strategy is to honestly ask yourself about the identify of your customers. Do they belong to small businesses, or large ones? Do they communicate on only one channel (like email) or do they tweet, Facebook, and Pin all day long? The best way to find out is to get out of the building and go to the customer’s office and talk to them about their likes and dislikes, and about the ways their business can be more successful. If you can’t visit them, survey them.

And if you want to make customer personas to guide your team with the insights you learn, here’s some information to get you started.

 

Question 2: How does your customer like to be contacted?

We all have our preferences about how to be contacted by a company with which we do business. Those communication norms stem both from our comfort level with the business, the type of service we buy from them, and how often we contact them normally. You might think it’s strange to be contacted by your insurance company more than once or twice a year, and you might welcome a weekly call from a recurring service provider.

Be flexible and allow your customers to tell you how often they like to be contacted, and don’t overwhelm them with messaging. Once you determine how often your customers want to be contacted, you can use an integrated calendar that incorporates your CRM and inbound marketing tools, or you can simply use a spreadsheet to manage this communication. You might recognize this strategy from content marketing – here’s a template for a content calendar.

 

Question 3: What will you do when your customer is disappointed?

Customer strategy sounds great when the customer is happy. So what should you do when things go wrong, or simply not as planned? We’ve written here about dealing with demanding customers, and an important part of your customer strategy is deciding how you will respond to the unhappy customer (whether it’s your fault, their fault, or somewhere in between.) A very useful rubric that you can consider is the idea of Acknowledging the issue, Apologizing for any inconvenience, Offering to find out information, and Answering with a fact-based explanation (including offering a workaround if one exists.)

If you can’t solve the disappointment, address it directly and your customers will appreciate avoiding a run-around explanation. You may not be able to solve their problems, and you can give it your best effort. An excellent way to check your experience for new customers is to periodically sign up for a new account on your own service and write down any observations that seem relevant.

 

Question 4: How do you know when your customer is successful?

It would be awesome if all of your customers told you when they had a rousing success with your product or service. More often than not, they won’t tell you when they are able to do the job they hired your product to do – because to them, “it just works.” So part of your customer strategy needs to be working actively to understand the conditions that are necessary (perhaps not sufficient) for success. That might mean that all of the documentation needs to be in synch with the 4 steps to complete an action in the product; it might mean that the team members are all briefed early in the product process on a new feature; and it might mean creating a beta group to test how customers will react to the thing you think they should be able to do.

You’ll know when your customer is successful both when they tell you, and when you anticipate the necessary steps for them to have completed along the path to success – and make them as easy as possible. One of my favorite ways to check whether I’m building success for my customers is to check out the Entrepreneur’s Guide to Customer Development and flip to any page for a good idea.

 

Question 5: What’s Next?

The practice of asking questions, as in the 5 whys method, allows you to get the raw material to determine your customer strategy. And these questions that we’ve posed here are not an end in themselves. The act of asking these questions provides the raw material that you can use to pick the people, processes, and tools that will allow you to build a customer strategy to understand your customer, communicate with them effectively, know when they are disappointed, and when they are successful. Asking these five questions will get you started, and building the resulting strategy is an ongoing process. When you build the right customer strategy, it’s easy to create, communicate, and deliver unique value to your customers.

source:desk.com

10 Ways to Recharge Your Motivation

People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.
-Zig Ziglar

Achieving goals is not a matter of possibility, it’s a matter of motivating yourself to focus on the right things.  You know you should be doing something, but sometimes you just don’t feel like doing anything.  This stagnation can last a long time if you don’t head it off and take action.

Here are some daily motivation tricks that work for many people:

1.  Get started!

This is by far the most important tip in this article, because in the end, all of the other tips in the world won’t make as much of a difference as this simple and timeless instruction: Sit down and start!  Do you feel the push-back of laziness?  There’s no better way to overcome it than to just start.  Reading more about motivation won’t help.  Reviewing your to-do lists won’t help.  Only doing actually helps get the momentum going.  And the only way to do something is to just start.

So stop thinking about how hard the task is going to be or how long it’s going to take you.  Just get started!  Not starting is failing.  Start telling yourself, “As soon as I start working, I’ll feel more motivated.”  Because once you start, you’ll realize it’s not nearly as hard as you thought it would be.  Read Getting Things Done.

2.  Find and use your positive voice.

As Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”  Be aware of your self-talk and stay positive.  Positive thinking can be amazingly powerful.

You have the choice to replace negative self-talk with a more encouraging and friendly voice.  A voice that will consider your goal as not just a possibility, but a probability.  A voice that does not look externally for validation before taking action, but rather uses self-belief as its driving force.  A voice that realizes that any person who has ever achieved greatness had to do so against similar odds, and that all things are possible to those who commit to their vision.

Tell yourself over and over again that you can do it.  Try saying, “I want to go to the gym,” “I am going to nail this presentation,” “I am going to have a great day,” etc.  See what effect it has.  Persist with this kind of positivity and eventually you’ll feel better about whatever it is you want to get done, and you’ll even start to fool your unconscious into believing it’s true.

3.  Spend time with people who inspire you.

What better way to recharge yourself for improvement than spending time with someone who inspires you.  They are smart, driven and motivate you to be better.  Study their qualities.  Study their habits.  Surround yourself with them, talk to them, learn from them; they are already living and producing results at a level you admire and aspire to.  Compare stories, successes and failures.  Let their inner light guide you.

4.  Start a friendly competition.

You can really raise your motivation with some friendly competition.  We are all competitive in nature, take advantage of this by using it to fuel your motivation.  Find a co-worker or friend with similar goals and turn it into a competition or game.  The key is to find a way to make it fun.  This will make the task or project seem less like work and more like play; and it will also encourage you to avoid defeat.

While you’re at it, mutually support each other toward your goals.  Staying motivated on your own can be tough.  A partner in crime always helps

5.  Think about how far you have come.

You have made so much progress, you just don’t realize it.  Open your eyes and give yourself credit for all that you have accomplished.  Think about it.  Write down your past successes.  Consider using a journal to keep track of them.  You’ll probably be pleasantly surprised when you review your results.  It’s a great motivator to see how much you have improved and how far you have come.  You felt at the top of your game before and you can do it again.

And don’t forget to be patient.  The problem with many of us is that we expect quick results.  Think long term.  If you want to run a marathon, you won’t be able to do it overnight.  If you don’t see the results you want, don’t give up, give it time.  Think of your goal as a long-term journey, and your slump is just a little bump in the road.  In the mean time, be happy with your progress.  Read The Magic of Thinking Big.

6.  Embrace failure as a positive learning experience.

Ask yourself: What have I learned from this?  As Michael Jordan once said:

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

Do not judge failed attempts and mistakes as an indication of your future potential, but as part of the growth process.  Something does not have to end well for it to have been one of the most valuable experiences of a lifetime.  When times get tough, take a deep breath, and know that most great things come when you least expect it.  Being defeated is a temporary condition; giving up is what makes it permanent.  And most people that gave up didn’t realize how close they were to success.  Push through!

7.  Review, refine and breakdown your goals.

Set and pursue S.M.A.R.T. goals.  These goals must be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timely.  And don’t be afraid to set big S.M.A.R.T. goals either.  Establish goals that inspire you even if they seem slightly out of reach at the moment.  If you set goals that are too easy to achieve, you likely achieve far less than you are capable of.  As Les Brown said, “Shoot for the moon, and if you miss you will still be standing among the stars.”

Break down your big S.M.A.R.T. goals into realistic, high impact tasks that you can track.  The thought of accomplishing a huge task can be overwhelming.  Try taking small bites at a time.  Break down your large tasks into mini goals.  Daily actions will yield greater benefits than biting off more than you can handle.  When you start to see your progress you’ll feel more alert and ready to tackle the next step.

For example, if you want to change careers, that goal may be driven by several smaller goals like going back to school, improving your networking skills, updating your resume or getting a new certification; and each of these smaller goals is then supported by even more granular sub-goals and associated daily tasks.  And it is these small daily tasks that, over time, drive and motivate larger achievement.

Also, make sure your goals are truly YOURS, and in line with your values.  If you’re striving for someone else’s goals you are never going to be motivated to pursue them.

8.  Let the whole world know what you’re up to.

When you’re trying to do something you’ve never done before, it can take a lot of concentration and effort, and life can get lonely pretty quickly.  To keep your motivation thriving, it’s important to let others know what you’re up to.  Don’t be shy!  Announce to the world that you are going to achieve a certain goal by a certain date.

Trap yourself.  None of us want to look bad in front of friends, family and co-workers.  If you’ve made a commitment to all of them, then the shame of saying you didn’t try will outweigh the effort of doing it.  Hold yourself accountable, don’t just commit once, but commit to giving progress updates to everyone at least once a week.

9.  Visualize your successful outcome in great detail.

Before we do anything our minds start seeing pictures of how everything might turn out.  Close your eyes and visualize how great the events will unfold – see yourself smiling, hear yourself being positive and feel how great you will feel doing the task, leading the project, playing the game, attending the meeting.  Form as clear a mental picture as possible.  Do this every morning for at least five minutes.  This is a surprisingly effective technique that will raise your motivation and enthusiasm, and get you into the right mood before you begin working each day.

Another great visualization / motivation technique is to post physical reminders all around you.  Post a picture of your goal in a place you’ll see every day.  Set it as your desktop wallpaper, or post it on your wall, refrigerator or bathroom mirror.  The idea is to keep your mind focused on end result and keep your excitement going.

10.  Spend some time every day working on a passion.

There are some things in life that you just have to do, even if you aren’t passionate about it – cleaning the house, paying bills, finishing that task for your boss, etc.  But the dilemma of doing these things is greatly reduced if you spend a decent amount of time each day working on something you love – something you’re truly passionate about.  Because subconsciously you know that regardless of what you’re doing, your passion is still part of your day.  Read The How of Happiness.

So make time to focus on doing something you really want to do.  Take an hour break and work on something that’s meaningful to you.  Engage yourself in a meaningful personal project, or pull the trigger on starting something you’ve wanted to do for a long time, but haven’t yet had the resolve to do.  Do so, and your motivation and happiness will skyrocket.

7 Simple Tips To Deal With Negative People

“The people who are the hardest to love are the ones who need it the most.”  ~Peaceful Warrior

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Celestine Chua of The Personal Excellence Blog.

Have you ever dealt with negative people before? If you have, you will know that the experience can be quite a downer. I used to have an ex-colleague who was very negative. In our conversations, she would complain endlessly about her co-workers, her work and her life. She was also very cynical about people in general, often doubting their intentions. Talking to her wasn’t a pleasant experience at all.

The first time we had a meeting, I felt very drained. Even though we talked for only 20-30 minutes, I didn’t have the mood or energy to do anything after our conversation. It felt as if someone had sucked the life out of me, and it wasn’t until 2-3 hours later that the effect wore off.

The same thing happened the next few times we talked. Because she was so pessimistic, her negative energy often spilled over after the conversation, leaving me with a bad taste in my mouth. For a period of time, I was quite bothered by her. I would avoid speaking to her if I could.

After a while, I figured I needed to work out an action plan to deal with negative people. After all, she was not going to be the only negative person I was going to encounter in my life. I thought: “For every 1 negative person I face now, there are probably thousands of them out there whom I’ll meet one day. If I learn how to deal with her effectively, I will be able to handle other negative people next time.”

With this in mind, I then brainstormed on the best approach to handle negative people.
Eventually, I developed several key steps to deal with negative people effectively. These steps have proven very helpful in making the best out of my relationships with them. While the people I face today are generally more positive, these steps come in handy when I’ve to deal with a negative person.

If there’s someone negative in your life at the moment, don’t let yourself be affected by him/her. You’re not alone in your problem – I face negative people as well and dealing with them is always a learning experience. While people can try to get you down, you’ve a choice in how you react to them.

Here, I’d like to share my 7 tips on how you can deal with negative people:

 

Tip #1: Don’t Engage in the Negativity

One thing I found is negative people tend to harp on the bad things and ignore the positive stuff. They also have a tendency to exaggerate issues they are facing, making their predicament seem a lot worse than it actually is.

The first time you converse with a negative individual, provide a listening ear and offer help if needed. Provide support – let him/her know he/she is not alone. However, be sure to draw a line somewhere. If the person keeps harping on the same problems even after the first few conversations, then it’s a sign to disengage.

For starters, try to switch topics. If he/she goes into a negative swirl, let him/her continue, but don’t engage in the negativity. Give a simple reply, such as “I see” or “Okay”. Whereas if he/she is being positive, reply in affirmation and enthusiasm. When you do it often enough, he/she will soon realize what’s going on, and will start to be more positive in his/her communication.

 

Tip #2: Hang Out In Groups

Speaking to a negative person can be extremely draining. When I spoke to my negative co-worker, I would be mentally drained for several hours, even though we talked for only 20-30 minutes. That was because I was on the receiving end of all her negativity.

To address this, have someone else around when conversing with the negative individual. In fact, the more people, the better. This way, the negative energy is divided between you and the other members, and you don’t have to bear the full brunt of the negative energy.

The plus point of having someone else around is that people bring out a different side to an individual. By having another party around, it may bring out a more positive side in the negative person. I experienced this before and it helped me to see the “negative” individual in a different, more positive light.

 

Tip #3: Objectify the Comments Made

Negative people can be quite critical at times. They tend to drop insensitive comments that are hurtful, especially if they are directed at you.

For example, I once had a friend who was quite tactless. She would drop jarring comments which were dismissive and critical. Initially I was bothered by her words, wondering why she had to be so critical every time she spoke. I also wondered if there was something wrong with me – that perhaps I wasn’t good enough. However, when I observed her interactions with our common friends, I realized she did this to them too. Her comments were not personal attacks – it was just her being the way she was.

Recognize that the negative person usually means no harm – he/she is just caught up in his/her negativity. Start by learning how to deal with critical comments. Objectify the comments made – Rather than take his/her words personally, recognize that he/she is just offering a point of view. Sieve out the underlying message and see if there is anything you can learn from what he/she said.

 

Tip #4: Go with Lighter Topics

Some negative people are triggered by certain topics. For example, one of my friends turns into a self-victimizer whenever we talk about work. No matter what what I say, he’ll keep complaining about everything in his job, which becomes quite a conversation dampener.

If the person is deeply entrenched in his/her negativity, the unhappiness may be too deeply rooted to address in a one-off conversation. Bring in a new topic to lighten the mood. Simple things like new movies, daily occurrences, common friends, hobbies, happy news, make for light conversation. Keep it to areas the person feels positive towards.

 

Tip #5: Be Mindful of the Time You Spend With Them

As Jim Rohn puts it – “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with”. What this quote means is that who you spend your time with has an impact on the person you eventually become.

I find it to be very true. Think about the times you hang out with negative people – Do you feel more positive or negative after that? Same for positive people – How do you feel after spending some time with them?

Whenever I’ve an encounter with negative people, I’d often feel negative after that, like a bad aftertaste. Whereas with positive people, I’d feel extremely upbeat and exuberant. Clearly, there is a spill over effect that takes place even after the interaction! By spending more time with negative people, your thoughts and emotions will slowly become negative too. At first it might be temporary, but over time it’ll slowly become ingrained in you.

If you feel certain people in your life are negative, then be conscious of how much time you’re spending with them. I recommend to limit the duration where you can help it. For example, if they want to hang out with you but you don’t enjoy their company, learn to say no. If it’s a meeting or phone call, set a limit to how long you want it to be. Keep to the objective of the discussion, and don’t let it extend beyond that time.

 

Tip #6: Identify Areas You Can Make a Positive Change

Negative people are negative because they lack love, positivity and warmth. A lot of times, their negative behavior is a barrier they erect to protect themselves from the world.

One of the best ways you can help a negative individual is to usher positivity into his/her life. Think about what’s bothering the person at the moment, and think about how you can help him/her in your own way. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate, and you definitely don’t have to go out of the way to help if you don’t want to. The key here is to be sincere in your desire to help, and to show him/her the upsides in life.

A while back, I had a friend who was unhappy with her job, due to the stagnating environment and culture mismatch. There was a job opportunity that arose in my (now former) workplace, so I introduced that opportunity to my friend. She eventually got the job, and she has been working there for over 3 years now, and doing very well.

Today, she’s a lot happier, forward-looking and proactive in life. She’s definitely a lot more positive than she was a few years ago. While I do not take any credit for what she has carved for herself in her career, I feel very happy knowing that I helped in a small way at the right time. Likewise, there’s always something you can do for others too – keep a look out and help where you can. Just a small act on your part may well make a huge difference in their lives.

 

Tip #7: Drop Them From Your Life

If all else fails, reduce contact with them or drop them from your life.

Rather than spend your time with negative people, focus on the positive people instead. In the past, I spent a lot of time with negative people, trying to help them with their issues. It drained up a lot of my energy and was often futile, which led me to rethink my methods. Ever since then, I worked on cultivating positivity by hanging out with positive friends and business partners. This has turned out to be a lot more rewarding and fruitful.

Remember that your life is yours to lead, and it’s up to you on how you want it to be. If there are negative people who make you feel bad about yourself, work on those issues with the 7 steps above. With the right actions, you can create a dramatic difference in what you get out of your relationships.

Celestine Chua writes at The Personal Excellence Blog on how to achieve our highest potential in life. Read her readers’ favorite 101 Inspiring Quotes of All Time and get her free ebooks here.