16 Rich Habits - Your autopilot mode can make you wealthy or poor

       by Tom Corley October 8, 2014

Intelligence, talent and charm are great, but more often than not these aren’t what separate the wealthiest among us from the poorest.

Instead, the differences are in our daily habits. Do you realize that these subconscious, second-nature activities make up 40 percent of our waking hours? That means that two out of every five minutes, all day and every day, we operate on autopilot. It’s true: Habits are neural pathways stored in the basal ganglia, a golf ball-size mass of tissue right in the center of our brains, in the limbic system.

This neural fast lane is meant to save the brain energy: When a habit is formed and stored in this region, the parts of the brain involved in deeper decision-making cease to fully participate in the activity. However, we all know there are good habits and bad habits.

I spent years studying the difference between the habits of our country’s rich and poor, questioning hundreds of individuals. On the rich side, these were people with annual gross income north of $160,000 and net liquid assets of $3.2 million or more. I defined the lesser-off as those with gross income of $35,000 or less and no more than $5,000 in liquid assets. When I was done, I analyzed the results of my research and boiled down the responses to create a picture of what allows the wealthy to prosper where others do not. My ensuing book became a sort of instruction manual for how to become wealthy.

The gulf between Rich Habits and Poverty Habits is staggering. If you’re well off already, chances are you already adhere to most of these Rich Habits. Integrating the ones you’ve neglected will push you further. But be assured: If you’re doing fine now without minding these principles, it’ll catch up to you.

Some of the differences between rich and poor are obvious, while others are a little more surprising. Here are the most important Rich Habits you can take up to reach and maintain your wealth potential.

1. Live within your means.

Wealthy people avoid overspending by paying their future selves first. They save 20 percent of their net income and live on the remaining 80 percent.

Among those who are struggling financially, almost all are living above their means. They spend more than they earn, and their debt is overwhelming them. If you want to end your financial struggles, you need to make a habit of saving and budgeting what you spend. Here are some sensible ways to budget your monthly net pay:

• Spend no more than 25 percent on housing, no matter if you own or rent.
• Spend no more than 15 percent on food.
• Limit entertainment—bars, movies, miniature golf, whatever—to no more than 10  percent of your spending. Vacations should account for no more than 5 percent of your annual net pay.
• Spend no more than 5 percent on auto loans, and never lease. Ninety-four percent of the wealthy buy instead of leasing. These folks keep their cars until the wheels fall off, taking great care along the way so that they save money in the long run.
• Stay away from accumulating credit card debt. If you are doing this, it’s a clear sign that you need to cut back somewhere.
• Think of savings and investments as two completely different things. You should never lose money on your savings. Try to stash six months of living expenses in an emergency fund in case you lose your job or your business goes belly-up.
• Contribute as much as you can afford to a retirement plan. If you work for a company that matches your contributions up to a certain percentage, great. Always take that free money when you can get it.

2. Don’t gamble.

Talk about a sucker bet: Every week, 77 percent of those who struggle financially play the lottery. Hardly anyone who is wealthy plays the numbers. Wealthy people do not rely on random good luck for their wealth. They create their own good luck. If you still want to bet after knowing the risk, use money from your entertainment budget.

3. Read every day.

Reading information that will increase your knowledge about your business or career will make you more valuable to colleagues, customers or clients. Among wealthy people, 88 percent read 30 minutes or more every day. Just as important, they make good use of their reading time:

• 63 percent listen to audiobooks during their commute.
• 79 percent read educational career-related material.
• 55 percent read for personal development.
• 58 percent read biographies of successful people.
• 94 percent read current events.
• 51 percent read about history.
• 11 percent—only 11 percent—read purely for entertainment purposes.

The reason successful people read is to improve themselves. This separates them from the competition. By increasing their knowledge, they are able to see more opportunities, which translate into more money. Comparatively speaking, only one in 50 of those struggling financially engages in this daily self-improvement reading, and as a result the poor don’t grow professionally and are among the first to be fired or downsized.

4. Forget the boob tube and spend less time surfing the Internet.

How much of your valuable time do you lose parked in front of a screen? Two-thirds of wealthy people watch less than an hour of TV a day and almost that many—63  percent—spend less than an hour a day on the Internet unless it is job-related.

Instead, these successful people use their free time engaged in personal development, networking, volunteering, working side jobs or side businesses, or pursuing some goal that will lead to rewards down the road. But 77 percent of those struggling financially spend an hour or more a day watching TV, and 74 percent spend an hour or more a day using the Internet recreationally.

5. Control your emotions.

Not every thought needs to come out of your mouth. Not every emotion needs to be expressed. When you say whatever is on your mind, you risk hurting others. Loose lips are a habit for 69 percent of those who struggle financially. Conversely, 94 percent of wealthy people filter their emotions. They understand that letting emotions control them can destroy relationships at work and at home. Wait to say what’s on your mind until you’re calm and have had time to look at the situation objectively.

Fear is perhaps the most important negative emotion to control. Any change, even positive changes such as marriage or a promotion, can prompt feelings of fear. Wealthy people have conditioned their minds to overcome these thoughts, while those who struggle financially give in to fear and allow it to hold them back.

Whether you fear change, making mistakes, taking risks or simply failure, conquering these emotions is about leaning in just a little until you build up confidence. It’s amazing how much confidence helps.

6. Network and volunteer regularly.

You’ll build valuable relationships that can result in more customers or clients, or help you land a better job if you spend time pressing the flesh and giving back in your community. Almost three-quarters of wealthy people network and volunteer a minimum of five hours a month. Among those struggling financially, only one in 10 does this.

One perk of volunteering is the company you’ll keep. Very often the boards and committees of nonprofits are made up of wealthy, successful people. Developing personal relationships with these folks will often result in future business relationships.

7. Go above and beyond in work and business.

Unsuccessful people have “it’s not in my job description” syndrome. Consequently, they are never given more responsibility, and their wages grow very little from year to year—if they keep their jobs at all. Wealthy individuals, on the other hand, make themselves invaluable to their employers or customers, writing articles related to their industry, speaking at industry events and networking. Successful people work hard to achieve the mutual goals of their employers or their businesses.

8. Set goals, not wishes.

You cannot control the outcome of a wish, but you can control the outcome of a goal.

Every year, 70 percent of the wealthy pursue at least one major goal. Only 3 percent of those struggling to make ends meet do this.

9. Avoid procrastination.

Successful people understand that procrastination impairs quality; creates dissatisfied employers, customers or clients; and damages other nonbusiness relationships. Here are five strategies that will help you avoid procrastination:

•  Create daily “to-do” lists. These are your daily goals. You want to complete 70 percent or more of your “to-do” items every day.
•  Have a “daily five.” These activities represent the crucial things that will help you get closer to realizing some major purpose or goal.
•  Set and communicate artificial deadlines. There’s nothing wrong with finishing early.
•  Have accountability partners. These are people you team with to pursue a big goal. Communicate with them at least every week, and make sure they hold your feet to the fire.
• Say a “do it now” affirmation. This is a self-nagging technique. Repeat the words “do it now” over and over again until you begin a task or project.

10. Talk less and listen more.

A 5-to-1 ratio is about right: You should listen to others five minutes for every one minute that you speak. Wealthy people are good communicators because they are good listeners. They understand that you can learn and educate yourself only by listening to what other people have to say. The more you learn about your relationships, the more you can help them.

11. Avoid toxic people.

We are only as successful as the people we spend the most time with. Of wealthy, successful people, 86 percent associate with other successful people. But 96 percent of those struggling financially stick with others struggling financially.

If you want to end your financial struggles, you need to evaluate each of your relationships and determine if they are a Rich Relationship (with someone who can help you up) or a Poverty Relationship (with someone holding you back). Start spending more and more time on your Rich Relationships and less on your Poverty Relationships. Rich Relationships can help you find a better job, refer new business to you or open doors of opportunity.

12. Don’t give up.

Those who are successful in life have three things in common: focus, persistence and patience. They simply do not quit chasing their big goals. Those who struggle financially stop short.

13. Set aside the self-limiting beliefs holding you back.

If you’re hurting financially, you’ve probably told yourself some of these untruths before: Poor people can’t become rich. Rich people have good luck and poor people have bad luck. I’m not smart. I can’t do anything right. I fail at everything I try.

Each one of these self-limiting beliefs alters your behavior in a negative way. Almost four out of five wealthy people attribute their success in life to their beliefs. Change your negative beliefs into positive affirmations by reading lessons from the greats of personal development, like Napoleon Hill, Dale Carnegie and Jim Rohn.

14. Get a mentor.

Among the wealthy, 93 percent who had a mentor attributed their success to that person. Mentors regularly and actively participate in your growth by teaching you what to do and what not to do. Finding such a teacher is one of the best and least painful ways to become rich.

If you know your goals, find someone who has already achieved them. You’ll be amazed by how many people want to lend a helping hand.

15. Eliminate “bad luck” from your vocabulary.

Those struggling financially in life have a way of creating bad luck for themselves. It’s a byproduct of their habits. Poverty Habits, repeated over and over are like snowflakes on a mountainside. In time, these snowflakes build up until the inevitable avalanche—a preventable medical problem, a lost job, a failed marriage, a broken business relationship or a bankruptcy.

Conversely, successful people create their own unique type of good luck. Their positive habits lead to opportunities such as promotions, bonuses, new business and good health.

16. Know your main purpose.

It’s the last Rich Habit, but it might be the most important. Those people who pursue a dream or a main purpose in life are by far the wealthiest and happiest among us. Because they love what they do for a living, they are happy to devote more hours each day driving toward their purpose.

Odds are, if you are not making sufficient income at your job, it is because you are doing something you do not particularly like. When you can earn a sufficient income doing something you enjoy, you have found your main purpose.

Believe it or not, finding this purpose is easy. Here’s the process:

1. Make a list of everything you can remember that made you happy.
2. Highlight those items on your list that involve a skill, and identify that skill.
3. Rank the top 10 highlighted items in the order of joy they bring to you. Whatever makes you happiest of all gets 10 big points.
4. Now rank the top 10 highlighted items in terms of their income potential. The most lucrative skill of all is worth 10 points.
5. Total the two ranked columns. The highest score represents a potential main purpose in your life. Presto!

As you can see, the differences between rich and poor are simple—sometimes intuitive—but not insignificant. Aim to take up all 16 of these habits, and you’re almost guaranteed to become better off.

Tear Down These 3 “Success Floodgates” To Flood Your Life With Success!

Do you realize how close you are to turning your dreams into your reality?

If you could see how close you are to success, you’d be kicking yourself that you haven’t just reached out to grab it yet.

The truth is, no matter how much you feel like a failure, success is literally waiting to flood your life. The only thing you have to do, is tear down the “Success Floodgates” holding it back.

Here’s 3 “Success Floodgates” holding back your dreams:

1. Making Excuses

If we choose someone successful to look at as an example, like Steve Jobs, we’ll see that he never made excuses. When things went wrong, he didn’t blame other people. He didn’t refuse to accept responsibility for his own mistakes. He didn’t try to justify his poor choices.

He didn’t make excuses because he understood that failure is going to happen. It’s not the end of the road – it’s one step on the road to success.

In fact, the next Success Floodgate you have to tear down is…

2. Fearing Failure

Like I already said, failure happens. But it’s not a dead end – it’s a step forward.

Too many people run into a tiny bit of failure, and they think they’re done forever. They give up immediately, never realizing how close they were to achieving their goals.

The problem is, they take failure personally. They think it means something’s wrong with them. But the truth is, failure is part of the journey to success.

That’s why it’s so important that you stop…

3. Beating Yourself Up

Think about it. Can you imagine Steve Jobs yelling at himself, saying that he’s dumb, or lazy, or any of the other million insults people tell themselves? Of course not!

Successful people don’t beat themselves up. They understand that taking your anger out on yourself only pushes your goals farther away. They still get upset, but they channel those emotions into constructive energy. They use that energy as jet fuel to reach their goals.

The truth about success is that you’re closer than you think. Sometimes all it takes is tearing down the floodgates, so you can let your dreams pour in.

But there’s an even easier way to turn your dreams into your reality, and it doesn’t require hard work, stress, or struggle…

You won’t believe the hidden connection that success experts recently discovered behind people like Steve Jobs, Richard Branson, and even Albert Einstein.

Check out this free presentation on this new discovery that’s changing the way people look at success, taking “hard work” out of the equation:

>>>Free Presentation: The “Brain Elevation” Secret to Success

Take Care of Yourself

By Michele Weiner-Davis

Today I want to write about topic that I think is so important as you are working on improving your marriage. Too many people work so hard at getting things right with their spouses, that that's their only focus. They lose concentration at work. They lose interest in friends and engaging in pleasurable activities. Sometimes they forget to eat or they eat too much. Becoming a couch potato isn't all that uncommon.

If any of this sounds familiar to you, I want you to think about something very important. While you're working hard to turn things around in your marriage, you really need to take good care of yourself. You need to shine a light on self care by asking yourself, "What have I done recently to keep myself healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually?"

If you have a hard time answering this question, you will undoubtedly feel drained, depressed, unhappy, anxious and lifeless. You are probably ignoring important people in your life. You will challenge your immune system and dull your zest for life. And, in so doing, you are also lessening the chances that your spouse will see in you the wonderful, spirited person you really are. So, it's time for a change.

Starting tomorrow, promise yourself that you will make you a bigger priority. Get off the couch and exercise. Do it every day. Research has shown that exercise can be as effective as antidepressants for people who are feeling down or even clinically depressed. Make sure your exercise is aerobic. Pay more attention to breathing deeply. Deep breaths are calming. I'm sure you could use a sense of peace in your life. And while you're calming yourself down, yoga and meditation have proven to be effective methods for reducing stress and increasing a sense of well-being. There are classes wherever you go. And if you don't like the idea of taking a class, you can learn how to meditate right at home...even in your p.j.'s. Or get a yoga DVD at the grocery store or library. There's no excuse for sitting still or pacing nervously. Do something constructive. If you're eating too much or too little, don't give yourself permission to continue this unhealthful habit. Nourish your body sensibly. Eating right fortifies your strength and your spirit. And don't forget a massage. It will fill up your senses.

Some people have told me that they find peace in keeping journals. If you're the writing sort, pull out a notebook and start writing your feelings. Do it every day. Writing can be incredibly healing.

If you are a people-oriented person but the mood to be with others hasn't been striking you lately, push yourself out the door. Remind yourself that there is a world outside of your current uncomfortable situation. It will be good for your soul and your self-esteem.

If you are spiritual, make sure you spend some quiet time in prayer. You will find solace in your faith.

Okay, you might be saying to yourself, "I know all of this stuff Michele is writing about, it's common sense." But I will tell you that, in my experience, when people get stressed out, they often stop being loving to themselves. I just want to remind you that you deserve love. Even if things are really tough at home, you still deserve to be cared for and cherished. If you're not getting this from your spouse right now, you need to do it for yourself. Just consider this message a gentle reminder to be nice to you.

And finally, if talking things out helps you clear your head and feel more centered, call a friend or relative to whom you haven't spoken in a long time. Or if you feel that your situation is too personal, consider talking to a Divorce Busting coach who can help you feel better about yourself and approach your life and your marriage more proactively.

Whatever you decide to do, do it tomorrow (or today!). Better times are right around the corner..

Mental Exercise to Get Closer to Your Goals!!!

The definition of success varies wildly depending on who you ask... My definition and yours might be completely different, or they may differ because we are simply working on different things in our lives... You may be working on quitting smoking, someone else may be trying to lose weight, I may be preparing for an upcoming training I'll have to give...

One thing is for sure though, if you want to be 'successful' you need to get in the right mind-set....!!!

So how do you get yourself mentally prepared to take on a new challenge?

No matter what you're trying to accomplish, there are 4 easy exercises that anyone can do to get themselves mentally prepared for success.

Meditation

Meditation is the practice in which you train your mind to induce a mode of higher consciousness. In order to do this, find a quiet place to either sit or lay down, and simply close your eyes and begin taking deep breaths in and out. Doing this can help you reduce stress, become aware of yourself and your environment, help you to ignore distractions, improve your focus, and even help your physical well-being.

Reframing

Reframing consists of changing the way we see things and trying to find alternative ways of viewing ideas, events, and situations. Reframing is a way of taking negative thoughts or emotions, and spinning them in a positive way. Instead of worrying over a past failure, use it as an opportunity to see where you can improve and grow. Practice seeing opportunity in failure or shortcomings, and pretty soon you'll be more optimistic all around.

"If life gives you lemons, make lemonade!"

Visualization

Visualization is a very popular one amongst athletes, business people, and entertainers. When you have an event coming up (Public speaking engagement, job interview, basketball game) visualize yourself in the process of that event. Don't focus on the outcome or how you think it will end up, but simply the process of what you'll be doing and the different scenarios that could pop up during. If you do this for everything, you'll feel more prepared to handle situations when they arise.

Self-Talk

Self talk is the process of repeating positive affirmations and thoughts to yourself. Things that will help you to complete your task at hand. There are a couple different types of self talk that you can use to help yourself achieve any goal - motivational and instructional.

Motivational self talk could be anything from, "you got this", "you are good enough", and "you WILL achieve your goal".

Instructional on the other hand isn't just to pump you up and make you feel capable and confident. An example of instructional self talk would be a golfer trying to work on his swing repeating to himself "bend your knees and keep your eye on the ball".

If you practice these 4 mental exercises for a while, they will eventually become second nature. If you can get your mind set right, you will feel more confident and capable and will be able to achieve anything you set out to do.

I hope you found this article useful. Share with me how useful these 4 exercises have been for you. You can even forward this email to your friends who are working hard towards their success:)

Have a great day ahead!

How to Influence Your Emotional State Using Body Language

So far you have seen that reading body language can help you understand others whilst also adjusting your own non-verbal signals will allow you to communicate better with others. Are there any other benefits to body language awareness?

It turns out that the relationship between your brain and body language is a two way street. Let’s see how this principle works with the following two cases.

Body Language of Smiling

It is well known that when you feel certain emotions such as happiness, a number of changes take place in your body such as changing heart rate, sweating, or the movement of your zygomatic major muscle leading to a smile.

What’s even more interesting is that the reverse is also true. When you change the state of certain facial muscles such as the zygomatic major, you start to feel the emotion associated with that expression; in this case happiness and joy. This is known as facial feedback hypothesis. One of the first people to suggest this was Charles Darwin indicating that a physiological change can have a direct impact on an emotion.

Testing the hypothesis however wasn’t easy as subjects had to adopt a particular expression without having the emotion and also not being able to guess what the experiment was all about. In 1988, a group of researchers carried out an ingenious study (Strack, et al. 1988). They told subjects that they were determining the difficulty people had when they used something without using their hands. The experiment was set up so that the subjects had to use their mouth to hold a pen in one of three ways:

• Lip position. The forced facial expression resulting in a frown.
• Teeth position. The forced facial expression resulting in a smile.
• Control group. Holding the pen in their non-dominant hand.

All groups were then instructed to fill in a questionnaire in that state, rating the difficulty of the move. The real test was however carried out at the end asking the subjects to rate the funniness of a cartoon shown to them. In this way, subjects did not have any specific emotional state prior to rating the cartoon and hence the experimenters could test the effect of the forced facial expressions while the subjects evaluated a cartoon. The results showed that the participants in the Teeth category reported a higher amusement rating than those in the Lip category. It seems that Darwin was right all along.

The conclusion is simple; keep smiling and the world will smile back at you. The smile will make you feel happy, it will make them feel happy and their smile will make you even happier.

 

Keep smiling and the world will smile back at you.

 

Body Language of Anger

Try the following exercise. Change your facial expression to one that shows anger or displeasure. You can do this by increasing the tension in the lower middle part of your forehead. The muscle, corrugator supercilii will pull your eyebrows down leading to a wrinkle in your forehead.

Avoid a furrowed brow; it will make you feel angry or too critical. 

Now, how do you feel while you are reading this? When you make a furrowed brow, your brain picks up the signals from your muscles and thinks that since the muscles are in this particular state, then “I must be upset and displeased”. In other words, by adopting a particular physical state, you have affected your emotional state.

Many studies have attempted to measure this effect, reaching some amazing results. For example, in one study, subjects were asked to look at a series of pictures of famous people while furrowing their brow (Strack and Neumann, 2000). The results showed that when their brows’ were furrowed, participants tended to be less impressed with the celebrities and rated them as less famous as when they were not furrowing their brows. The study suggests that facial expressions can influence non-emotional feelings which in turn can become the basis of judgment.

This gets even more interesting when you consider what is known as passive facial feedback hypothesis demonstrated by various studies. The question is what will happen if we artificially create a particular gesture or facial expression? In one study, an elastic bandage was placed on the forehead of participants to create an artificial furrow. They were then asked to rate their impression of a number of neutral targets. The results showed that having an artificial furrow reduces a person’s interest in those targets in comparison with a person that did not have a furrow (Mori & Mori, 2010). In another similar study, researchers placed artificial tears in the eyes of participants to see if the artificial tears alone could lead to feeling sadness. The result was that 53.8% of participants reported sadness while only 28.6% reported cheerfulness (Mori & Mori, 2007).

These studies suggest that holding a particular facial expression or gesture works both ways, even when it is created artificially. If you feel anxious, stressed and angry you furrow your brow and if you furrow your brow you are likely to feel angry and less interested which may also influence your judgment. This is when awareness of your own body language can significantly help you improve your quality of life, decision making and interpersonal skills. As soon as you realise you have adopted a particular physical state associated with a negative emotion, try to relax and return to a more neutral state or you risk making decisions while you are in a potentially negative emotional state.

Body Language of Confidence

In a recent study, a number of participants were asked to hold one of two postures during an experiment; sit in a slumped position or sit straight (Brinol et. al 2009). While holding the specific posture, each group had to complete a mock job application. They had to include their strengths and weaknesses relating to the job and record it in the application form. Participants then had to rate themselves whether they were good candidates for the job. The results showed that those who had a slumped posture were less confident in themselves. They also scored themselves as less suitable for the job they were applying for. This is yet another conformation of other studies mentioned above; your body can strongly influence your feelings, attitudes and subsequently your actions.

Everyday Applications of Using Your Body to Influence Your Mind

• You are doing yoga and feel the intensity of the moves in your hands, your body and your face. As a result, you automatically furrow your brow. Relax your facial muscles. Take a deep breath and return to a neutral state while stretching those critical leg muscles.
• You are about to enter a meeting. Just before entering through the door, smile. Keep the smile until you start to feel relaxed, energetic and proud to be here at this moment and in this location. Monitor your body language and enter the meeting room when you are feeling relaxed. You will feel and appear much more confident and you will notice this in people’s response to you.
• You are behind your computer. The font is small and hard to read. You squint and in the process activate corrugator supercilii. You continue to read in this state. Before long, you start to feel anxious. Your anxiety leads you to make a user error while using the computer. In turn, this leads to more computer problems. At this point you may start to blame your poor performance on the buggy, under-performing computer and continue blaming everyone and everything for your poor experience today. Remember, it all started with a squint. Detect your squint straight away, and address it. Relax those eye muscles and get back to productive work with a happy smile and a confident facial expression.
• You had a difficult day and feel tired. On your way home, you get stuck in a horrendous traffic. Your day has just got worst. What happens if you enter the house with a facial expression of looking stressed, unhappy and angry? Not only you are likely to remain in that state, but you are also likely to change the house’s mood, increasing the likelihood of further problems. Your day will become even more miserable. Instead, just before entering the house, relax your facial expressions and smile. You don’t have to feel happy straight away. All you want to achieve at this point is to adopt a happy facial expression; unfurrow your brows, relax your cheeks, hold your chin high, smile and be ready to make a nice-to-see-you eye contact. The rest will follow automatically. The side benefit is that your family will also see a happy face returning home and will subsequently feel better and happier. All problems are forgotten or will be seen as less significant.
• In a bright sunny day you are forced to squint which activates the same signals as of corrugator supercilii leading you to feel sad or upset. This is why sunglasses are such great tools, reversing the effect and thereby making you feel calmer while also making you look cool; two for the price of one.
• Focus on your breathing and make it steady and relaxed. Breathe through your chest while relaxing your belly and throat. The physical change will make you feel emotionally relaxed and calm, ready to face the challenges of the day.

References:

Briñol, P., Petty, R.E., & Wagner, B. (2009) “Body posture effects on self-evaluation: A self-validation approach”, European Journal of Social Psychology, 39, 1053-1064.

Mori, H., & Mori, K. (2007) “A test of the passive facial feedback hypothesis: we feel sorry because we cry”, Perceptual and Motor Skills, 105, 1242-1244.

Mori, K. & Mori, H. (2010) “Examination of the passive facial feedback hypothesis using an implicit measure: With a furrowed brow, neutral objects with pleasant primes look less appealing”, Perceptual and Motor Skills, 111, 785-789.

Strack, F., Martin, L.L., & Stepper, S. (1988) “Inhibiting and facilitating conditions of the human smile: a nonobtrusive test of the facial feedback hypothesis”, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 54, 768-777.

Strack, F., Neumann, R. (2000) “Furrowing the brow may undermine perceived fame: the role of facial feedback in judgments of celebrity”, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 26, 762-768. 

Performance - Turbo-Charge Your Life With Powerful Self-Talk

Self-talk is the inner chatter that accompanies us in most of our waking moments... Your self-talk can be a powerful aid to your performance, or it can be destructive...

What do you say when you talk to yourself? If you're like many of us, your self-talk is a caustic mixture of judgments, complaints, and verbal abuse, in the form of "tapes" - mental recordings - that you've imprinted on your mind and play over and over again... No wonder you feel down and depressed...

However, you can change the tapes you play, and your self-talk, as soon as you become aware of what you're saying to yourself... Changing your self-talk will turbo-charge your life and enhance your performance in everything you do...

You can change your self-talk right now!!!

Let's try a little test... Say to yourself, silently or aloud: "That was a stupid thing to say... How could I say _________ (pick any verbal blunder you can remember)... I'm so stupid..."

How do you feel? Perhaps you feel sad, or anxious... Take a moment to track your emotions in your body... Perhaps you have a sinking feeling in your tummy, or your face is becoming hot... Your self-talk immediately affected your body, your mental state and your emotions...

Now let's try some positive self-talk... Take a couple of deep breaths, smile, and say to yourself, aloud or silently: "I'm happy, strong and confident."

How do you feel now? Feel your emotions in your body... Repeat the words "I'm happy, strong and confident" several times – keep smiling as you do so... You felt an emotional lift, didn't you? You can give yourself an emotional boost at any time, just by changing your self-talk... If you make it a habit to repeat motivating self-talk to yourself, not only will you feel better, but you'll perform better in everything you do...

Self-talk is powerful, and it's free. It's the best thing you can do for yourself...

Erase old self-talk tapes: make new tapes

Affirmations are a form of self-talk, and you can create your own affirmations to use as self-talk... However, the best way to change your old self-talk tapes, is to make a new tape every time you catch yourself replaying an old tape...

For example, if you hear yourself saying: "I'll never get this project done... No one's helping me with it, I'm always left to do the hard work and others get the credit…"

Change your self-talk immediately... Write down your new self-talk tape which will over time erase the old self-talk tape: "This project's interesting... I'm going to have fun working with it... I'll ask ___ and ___ for their input right away... I'm taking charge of this project, it will be done in no time, and I'll claim the credit because I deserve it..."

Now repeat your new self-talk to yourself as often as you need to, particularly as soon as you can hear any faint whispers of the old self talk... Boost the new tape with affirmations, like: "I'm confident, capable and strong. I CAN do this!"

START TODAY: Use powerful self-talk to enhance your performance in everything you do...!!!

10 Simple Ways to Wake Up With Self-Confidence

 

Note: This is a guest post by Davis Nguyen

BRAYNK! BRAYNK! BRAYNK! BRAYNK!

Your morning alarm just went off. What are you doing this morning?

Are you jumping out of bed ready to start your day or are you trying to squeeze in “5 more minutes” of sleep?

If you are like most people, you are still struggling to roll out of bed and inside your head, you’re thinking, “here we go again.”

Wouldn’t it be great if you could start every day full of energy and self-confidence?

You probably know people who seem to always be “on.” They are self-confident and wake up happy whether it’s to play golf on Sunday or to go to work on Wednesday.

Why is it some people seem to be bursting with energy in the morning while most of us can barely even wake up?

The reason we don’t just jump out of bed is because we very much prefer our sleep to anything else out there. Most of us view waking up and the morning routine as chore time. 

We have to dress the kids, pick our clothes, prepare the coffee, cook breakfast, commute to work, etc. It feels like bleary-eyed drudgery without much to look forward to.

Our mornings don’t remind us that we have a  life purpose, a compelling reason to begin our day with joy. To see the difference between beginning your morning with a purpose versus just getting up and mindlessly following your routine, think of the last time you were truly excited to wake up.

Why were you excited?

What were you doing?

Maybe you had plans to visit a close friend, you were working on an exciting project, or it was the day of your big presentation. You had your day planned out, and you had something to look forward to.

The good news is that anyone can begin the day with purpose and self-confidence.  It’s not a man or woman thing, or extrovert or introvert trait, or an age specific issue. It simply comes down to giving your morning purpose.

Here are 10 strategies you can begin tonight to make your tomorrow more purposeful and to add confidence and energy to your day.

1. Go to bed early

In our efforts to do more and more every day we have to cut something. Unfortunately, a lot of people choose to sacrifice sleep so they can answer that one last email or finish writing that one last check.

Sleep does a lot for your body. Besides reducing your risk for some cancers, relieving stress, and cutting weight, going to bed early makes you feel recharged in the morning and gives you more energy to jump out of bed feeling rested. That one email or bill payment can wait until the morning, because your body, mind, and well-being require a good night’s rest.

2. Wake up on time

When you go to be earlier, you’ll be able to wake up easier. And when you have more time in the morning, you don’t have to rush or feel pressured. You have time to eat mindfully, reflect on your day ahead, and spend time with your family. You begin your day in a state of calm confidence.

But if you are anything like me, it might not be that easy. As soon as my alarm went off, I hit snooze and crawled deeper into my covers and fell back asleep.

However, I found one technique that worked wonders for me. Before I go to bed, I  set my alarm and place it away from my nightstand and next to my door. This way, when the alarm goes off, I have to wake up, walk to the door, and turn it off.  Since I am near my door, I can tell myself to leave my room and not be seduced by my warm bed.

When you are trying to start your day off confidently, the worst thing you can do is go back to the bed. If you find a way to force yourself to get out of the bed and leave your bedroom, you’ll lessen the temptation to crawl back into your sheets.

3. Prepare for the day ahead

Take 10 minutes each morning (or before you go to bed) to plan your day and prepare for anything that is on your schedule. This will allow you to clear your mind, prepare for any important events or plans, and remove the unnecessary stress caused by those “Shoot! I forgot I had to do this” moments. You can confidently begin your day knowing you are on top of things.

4. Drink water

Second only to sleep (might even be the first), I make an effort to drink water in the morning to revitalize my body and refresh my mind. I incorporated drinking water in my morning routine so I can have a reason to leave my room when my alarm goes off. But beginning your day hydrated with make you feel better physically and will make you mentally alert.

5. Have something to look forward to 

When you have something to look forward to, you can’t wait to get started. It doesn’t have to be something massive, just enough to motivate you to get up on time and have a purpose in the morning.

My little routine is this: I get up and if I went to bed early and woke up on time, I reward myself with two mini-bagels with strawberry jam on top (I am addicted to these things!). On days when I don’t get up or I sleep late, I take don’t reward myself with my treat.

This might seem silly, but as long as I’m up and happy in the morning that’s all that matters to me. Remember that no one is judging you. Find something that feels like a reward or joyful activity — maybe sitting outside to drink your coffee or taking 10 minutes to read.

6. Do what you love

I won’t steal Barrie’s thunder on this since she is the master. There is no better way to begin the morning than to know the work you are doing is what lights you up and gives your day meaning and life purpose. If you don’t know what your life passion is, make it a priority to find out. Begin the process of uncovering your passion so that each morning, you wake up knowing your work will feel more like play.

7. Remember to Smile

Smile and you’ll just feel happier and more confident. It’s that simple. In fact, a number of research studies have shown the act of smiling, even if forced,  can actually produce feelings of happiness. When you wake up, look in the mirror and smile at yourself. Smile at your family and smile when you are driving to work. It might feel silly at first, but soon you’ll notice you’re smiling naturally because you’re happy.

8. Exercise

Along with sleep and drinking water, exercise is one of the most important activities for confidence and happiness. You don’t have go to the gym and lift weights for an hour. Anything that’s gets your body moving and endorphins engaged will make you feel more energized, happy, and confident.

The first time I ever stepped inside a gym was in 2012, and it transformed my life. I started with 30-minute workouts, and now I am up to 90 minutes.  I love every minute of it. If I can do it (I used to be 40 pounds overweight), you can do it too. Just start small — even a 5 minute jog outside your home is better than doing nothing.

9. Pick your clothes the night before

Instead of worrying about what you will wear in the morning, have your outfit picked out the night before. Choose something to wear that makes you feel good about how you look and how you present yourself to others. This will save you time and remove another chore from your morning routine.

10. Express gratitude

I thought this was silly (even more so than my bagel treat), but one of my professors challenged us one day to wake up, look in the mirror, and tell ourselves one thing we were grateful for.

It could be something as big as your internship or something as little as mint chocolate cookies. By counting your blessings and seeing anything that makes your life great, you’ll be ready to tackle the day with a positive outlook. What started with a silly assignment is now a part of my daily routine.

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With just a few simple shifts in your routine, you can dramatically change the way you begin your day. When you wake up feeling calm, rested, energized, and positive, your self-confidence will soar. You will feel in control of your outlook, your happiness, and your life.

What do you do to wake up each morning confidently?  Please comment below. I’d love to hear your ideas and suggestion.